Crossing over to 2011

I have been trying for days to come up with some great post that would end this year on some interesting note, a chuckle or two, or even an agreeing nod and a loud “uh-hu” yet all I keep coming up with is:             “            “ (nothing). So, while I sit here, in the middle of the hottest heat wave ever, my cousins laughing in the background, some Nollywood movie on DSTV and the funny dialog between the 2 most amazing women in my world (my gran and my mom), I think this is how I will end it:

In all my 23 years of life, I officially document this year as the most eye opening year ever.

As this year bows out and makes room for a new one, it leaves behind a wiser woman who has learned a lot from the trials and good times that came with it. The biggest lesson learned this year is: SOMETIMES EVEN YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES DO COME TRUE AND YET THE REAL TEST LIES IN HOW YOU STEP OUT OF THE STORM.

I come from a place that hurts. a place that has reminded me of a few things I would like to carry over into the new year:

Truth of the matter is:

• sometimes, things just don’t go the way we want them to.

• Sometimes our prayers take a little longer to be answered maybe to teach us better lessons and give light to a quality we are lacking.

• At times the simplest things in life tend to bring the greatest joy and the loudest laughs.

• Sometimes, the colour pink still seems much better then all the other colours.

• Sometimes cooking a home cooked meal – even if its just for one – makes a million things seem better.

• Sometimes, a glass of wine – a good one – can be very good company.

• Sometimes, the person we think least is listening, may be the only one hearing us the clearest.

• Sometimes, the people we love the most, hurt us the most.

• At times the people we trust the most, let us down the most.

Maybe the lessons are still coming. Maybe the last few hours of the year are yet to teach more “sometime’s” but until then, and more importantly is:

• Sometimes… just sometimes – the people we love the most, deserve the most chances!

And with a smile and a yawn and the newly realised silence that surrounds me…

• Sometimes, maybe its best I just get to bed!

From here on call me Ms Wiser… happy moving over to the new year and may it see many more blogs and a whole lot more laughter!

Signed:

GoT

FACT:Happiness is over rated!

I sat across the table and listened to one of my best gal pal go on about how she just wants to be happy and how she believes the new man in her life may just be the key to unlocking it. Two things crossed my mind: 1. She could be right. Judging from the hell she has been through lately, I would like to think that she has it coming her way – at least at some point. 2. Could that be where both she and I have lost the plot – thinking that when this one thing happens, we COULD just unlock the flood gates of on going happiness?

HAPPINESS IS A DUMMY!!!

I fully recognise with my gal since im on the same sinking boat that she is to. I get her despret grasps at a life like she had planned while growing up and the hope she still has that it will all come through if this and that could just happen. But my pressing question is: could it be that this happiness thing that we all seem to strive after is actually over rated? Maybe it’s a simple concept that has been sold to us for way too long that we have lost all sense of common sense that would have eventually led us to this point… this point where we realise this was just an ad, a concept of someone’s imagination and as soon as someone yells “CUT!” then its all gone (back to our coping existence).

Don’t get me wrong. I am not on some path way to doom and gloom and I still stand in awe at how bright the sun seems to shine after a heavy storm. Where I am at right now, is at a point where I wonder if I (and so many of you) am not just chasing after some pot of gold at the end of a strangely diming rainbow. Look around you; do you not think that if this happiness thing where real in the intensity that we seem to believe, do you not think you would meet more people in the streets walking around with huge grins on their faces? I feel like the fact that we are still holding on to this doubtful concept, we miss the limited happiness that we really can milk out of these times. I think we are wasting so much time looking and searching that we miss the thing that we should actually be doing – enjoying that limited happiness that is actually owed to us!

My girl has other things that could bring her joy and while she likes those and enjoys them too, it is possible that she is missing out on a bulk of it because she is still waiting for this one event that could crack the whole “happiness” thing open. Im not saying she should not be... all I’m saying is that she should not be holding her breath just in case she fully passes out when it all seems like a waste of precious time!

And maybe… just maybe – its time I started taking my own advice!

Again! ..... *sigh*

Feels a lot like going round in circles…


Not sure where to end… Hell not sure where I started.

There is this need… this want… this essential I cant seem to fill and so I bring out the bottle of wine and ask an old friend to come join me. I feel another carpet night coming close and ever so easily decide to help it along before it actually happens and I find myself thrown there while I try to run the pretence show a bit longer. So I slip down and rest there – its gonna happen anyway *sigh*

I peer out the window from down here and wonder if the old friend has shown up yet. See, when all the normal does what it tends to do at times and lets me down, this old friend is always there to help ease the pain and the over whelming lighted headed feeling that accompanies these moments. Why does it have to come to these times? Is it a sign of a flaw in this thing I’m tryna do? Is it possible that regardless of all believe, this is actually not something that I should do or that should even happen? Tell me: why do I have to find me here so damn often?

Knock on the door…. Habit is here!

I find the last bit of strength left and open the door to him. It feels good to have him here… he thinks my jokes are funny…

“habit…” I call out while sitting on the carpet in the dark and the slight noise of the dimed tv images playing in the background ….

“yes…” he answers…

“ummmm…” I continue, “I have so much things that I don’t tell you. There is so much I wish I could tell you but im afraid of what you will say. Why is it though that you never demand answers when I call on you when im at this place? Why is it that you don’t think im pathetic and rediculouse for still slipping to this place even after so long?...”

“would you like for me to refill your glass?” habit asks without fliching at the list of heavy questions I just asked.

Honestly, things do tend to feel a whole lot better with the glass full, “yes please…”, I whisper not wanting to sound…

I have a problem, I silently think, I have this habit which is not really good yet find the most refreshing comfort from it when things are like this. Habit is there. Habit listens and habit never requires an answer or demand a reason for how things got to this place… AGAIN. He is here… always. He does not think I’m ridiculous for having made carpet moments normal. He supports it. Habit is forbidden though but damit he is here always!

You… you are so wrapped up in your world that you miss my pleadings for help. Yes, it has become way more then a discreet asking… I’m pleading and you cant even see it… so don’t you judge me for Habit…

“would you like another refill…” habit asks while letting me lie in his arms for a while!

Just another day....

*blink blink*


Beyond my deepest wishes, here I am once again. Sitting in the dark with just the TV on, a glass of wine and the company of an old friend – Habit! (it has been a while)

“how do I keep ending up here?”, I ask habit.

He just looks at me and shrugs and encourages me to refill my glass (it does feel a little better when the glass is full). I feel like a mess but strangely, the mess is encouraging because it reminds me that even super woman has a bad day once in a while except that this is starting to feel way more then ‘once-in-a-while’ *sigh*

Maybe the point is not to try stand up anymore. Maybe the point is to find a comfortable place right here and embrace the moments that lead me here – because really now, im sure they come with some lesson and good memories (the ones that get you all teary). Maybe the point is not to wonder why I occasionally find myself here but rather look forward to them cause hell, I know they are coming.

(habit nods his head in agreement)

*sip*…*gulp*

So, is that what we decide habit?

Is this how it will be from now on?

I HATE being sick...

I hate being sick…


Well besides the accompanying terrible earth-open-up-and-swallow-me feeling, it also always leads me here; in a heap on my couch questioning the strangest of concepts and the ever growing yearning to stop the remember-when-you-were-here rehash of the past.

See, I'm not a sick person. I have never spent the night at the hospital and I have managed to go a full 3 years with no medical aid since my medical expenses have honestly been less then R2000.00 (dental work and over the counter remedies included) for those 3 years… yet, every once in a while, those moments do creep up on me when I feel as sick as a dog and where I willingly agree that maybe its time to go see a doctor. When I decide to go see a doctor then you should know its bad!

*sigh* …remember-when-you-were-still-here… I got so sick it scared you. I stayed home for a week, in bed and in a constant state of near tears. You called to check up on me a million times a day and whenever I tried to sound ok on the phone, you always always caught me out and gave it your all in persuading me to take my pills (I hate pills). I knew you were worried when you came over to spend the day with me. You watched me fall in and out of sleep when the damn poison in the pills finally defeated my resistance. And when that very same poison left me feeling worse (before feeling better), you let me fall asleep in your arms and patiently waited for me to wake up.

(wait a minute… is this a new intensity of pain I feel?) *sigh and watery eyes* … lol remember the stupid idea I had to go drinking to celebrate me feeling better? Stupid idea because poison and alcohol just made me sick all over again and once again, you were right there to let me sleep it off in your arms *smile*

Mmmmm see what sickness does to me?

I don’t want to do this anymore. We are done with this part of my book and the damn chapter has been closed! *switch sides to sleep on my left hand side* maybe I should save up for a house instead. Or maybe not. Huuuu *sigh* I wonder if I pray hard enough if Jehovah will grant my all time deepest yearning. Maybe I should quit my job and relocate to Durban…

I suppose the real issue here is trying to find a way to relive me of my memories just for a little while. I hate always ending up here. I hate the damn fantasies of what I would do if you did this… I hate the damn flame burning my hands. I hate my lost love for food and the sad (yet slightly great) fact that my jeans don’t fit me as well as they should. I hate that I cant make time to visit the dentist for my half yearly check up. I hate the stupid question my aunt asked at a freaking funeral (has she no shame) and the fact that she is wondering. I hate the idea of doing all of this all over again.

And I FLIPPIN’ HATE BEING SICK LIKE THIS!!!

5:30pm already and I look like a mess! I have meetings tonight and I cant miss that for a little pain and stupid feelings of a past long gone… I should get dressed and draw a smile on my face if I have to! Time has passed and some things are better off left in the past! Now if I only can get over this damn sickness… anybody have poison for me?

Ps: I do mean pills by poison… I am not suicidal… just sick!

Lets try this again...

so how many times have you fallen and stood up?

sitting in a heap on my bed room floor, i ask this question with the aim of wanting to know how many times i will have to do this again. it seems to me like regardless of how many times we all trip, scream and try to hold on before the loud crashing fall, we always manage to at some point stand up again. EVERYTIME. true for some people it could take a couple of years but with time, it eventually happens.

while on the floor, looking for some grip to help pull me up, i wonder too about my stumbling blocks - the ones that always manage to trip me and i realize, they all form part of the same huge stone. i laugh at the discovery and think like those heros in the lame movies... "to finally rid myself of the falling reflex, i need to get to he source and destroy it forever" (queue the triamphet music and a ray of sun light on the hero's face).
"finally rid myself"... the words echo in my mind while the answer dances around in my head... Answer?
NEVER!!!

see, my stumbling block is not one that can be pushed aside at will or even taken on when feelings of self pity pop around for tea. my block does not stand around like a misplaced object in the middle of a room wondering if it shall get moved. my block, strangly, is not huge and ugly and a mess. No, my stumbling block is  part of me. it comes in a shade that works well with my life decore and hell most of the time it can be passed off as part of the room. my block is small yet powerfull. it screams independence and demands attention... its proud and classic and well is sometimes envied... See MY block is a part of me - an essential part of me.

(i suppose this could explain why my bedroom carpert has become a good place to rest for ever so often i find myself there when my block rears its dominating head)

New plan of action.... I NEED A NEW PLAN OF ACTION before i stand up again so that we could make sure that this time, im up there for a bit longer.
"mmmm bueatifully painted stumbling block... oh how do i get rid of you or atleast make you smaller...??"
*thinking*

Starting to feel a little numb from the hard cold floor, i decide to stand up and leave the "To make stumbling block smaller" plan for another day. i decide to enjoy the stand up and the time i spend up there a bit more before the great war with BLOCK starts again...
untill then... the feeling in side is: IM UP! IM UP! shall we try this again...

signed
GoT

i have found my voice (pen)

it has been since forever.


ladies... (gents too) my life has been transformed and for some time, it seemed like it was for the worst. i am getting better though.

11 months ago at the hight of the best moment ever in my whole 23 years of life, i was knocked off and kept falling for the longest time - it seemed. with a huge thump, i think i have finally hit ground and after more sobs and cursings, i finally managed to stand and dust myself off - and boy has it been good dustings...

i started Musings so that i could share a few thoughts and outlooks but beyond my power, i seemed to be stuck in a huge "writings void" and could not for the life of me, come up with a post that was good enough but i think that has come to an end.

i have stumbeld upon previous writings that i never published on Musings. i want to share these - them and new inspirations that i have so... watch this space...
louds of love
GoT

Spend a moment in my head…

- That terrible habit that has become my friend is sucking me dry of the will to carry on…

So I guess even long time habits do turn against you too – what doesn’t vele these days?

Forgive my contradiction for a moment and listen to my thoughts…

My bad habit has been with me for close to 8 months now and having seen that I cant get rid of it (and man have I tried), I started taking it as a friend. Habit started feeling comfortable – like an old friend. At times, when it seemed to not be around, I would invite it and ask it to even stay longer then allowed. We laughed and cried and even finished a wine bottle too once. Habit made me smile and had me feeling good- really good. There were times when I missed habit when it was not around cause see, my habit – which is my secret alone – had to some extent become my shoulder to lean on, my pillar of strength when I required and sometimes even a companion when it seemed like everyone else was not seeing my silent pleading for help. Habit listened and advised. Habit entertained and consoled. My habit was there on those nights (and days) when I got lonely and sometimes even comforted me and stayed up with me till I fell asleep when I thought the nightmares were too bad. Habit always lingered near by. Habit was always there when my friends went home and even when I went out – I was sure to always come home and find habit sitting, waiting and willing to listen to the stories that I had to tell – habit loved them!

…and 8 months later habit seems to also have an agenda against me too.

Instead of calm chats, habit shouts. Its words hurt and when I call out, it doesn’t respond. Habit kicks and screams and tears down. Habit doesn’t seem to recognise the hurt it cause or the confusion it leaves me with. Habit lies and deceives me – gone are the once calm encouragements and promises are left unfulfilled.

Habit keeps me awake at night, wondering what went wrong.

Habit hates me and I cant seem to understand why.

Habit is drowning me and has taken away any desire for everything…

If you are reading this, please tell habit to come back. Please tell habit that I didn’t mean to. Tell habit please that whatever it is that I did to upset it – I’m Sorry

Tell habit please, if you see it, that: if it too leaves… I'm not sure if I can carry on.

- Girl on Top

SICK man dies ALONE...

- … And so his wife leaves him sick and alone on Friday to attend to another emergency back at her Mather’s. My car alarm goes off at 3:30am on Sunday morning and while peering out the window, we notice his bedroom lights on. Paying no attention to that and after making sure nothing was wrong with the car, we all go back to sleep clueless to the sad events that where the result of his lights being on at that time of morning.

Morning comes and after frantic knocks on his door by his brother, the police are called to discover his lifeless body - inside the locked, cold house - lying in bed, clutching a bottle of an energy drink…

                                         It’s confirmed… he has passed away!

Notice how there are so many unanswered questions in those bizarre events and yet the story gets worse as it unfolds around the “The man that died alone”

- … after the body had been taken away and the brother starts making calls, the sickening truth seeps out and although I'm hating the “dying alone” part, I'm sickened by the disgusting secret that was inside the walls of that house.
The brother is conflicted at what he should do now. See, as part of the calls that he makes, a very important one is made to his REAL wife and CHILDREN. Turns out alone man had told his legal wife that he was staying at his place of employment while he was shacked up with the lady we neighbours knew to be his wife...

Once again, I find myself deeply hurt and disgusted at the disapointment we humans have become. The bible shows how we were created as he superior creatures - to have domination over all other flying, sea and land creatures yet our behaviour as this system of things nears its end proves that we just may have succeeded in turning ourselves in to the worst kind of creature to walk the fact of the earth.

My Issues 1: the sick man ALONE

One of the things that I have always prided myself on living elokshini is the fact that, to some extent, the neighbours knew each other. Growing up, I loved the fact that when I came home from school and my mother was not home and I had no key, I could always go to the gogo at our front opposite and she would have a sandwich ready for me and show me to a room where I could take a nap and wait for my mom. When gogo passed away, our back opposite retired nurse was another safe place where I could wait instead of prying the streets and being a target to the badies that lurk in dark corners. I could wait there for as long as it took and our neighbours never complained or minded – in fact, sometimes, they insisted.

Yet, here is this man, that was left alone while sick to fend for himself. Could not this woman have alerted us that she had an emergency and ask for us to check in on the sick man? We could have made sure that he ate something for lunch and supper on Friday. We could have taken him breakfast on Saturday morning before we went about our daily activities, did lunch with him and supper before making sure pills are being taken before we went to bed. We could have done something when we saw the lights on past 10 or even 11 as my siblings were still up. That man could have been alive today had his “makwapeni” cared enough. I fully understand the picture I'm painting of the woman that always greeted and had well wishes for me but you please find a way to explain to me how the freaking hell you could do something like that to someone you pulled away from his real family so that he could be with you.

I have always held on to the believe that regardless of how mean or terrible you are, no one deserves to be alone. I think being alone is something that hurts enough to kill you on its own. I'm imagining the frame of mind that the man was in – feeling his condition worsen yet not being able to call out for help. The energy drink he was found with tells me that he was looking to get some source of strength so as to make it through the night. It is said that, when things are bad, we tend to reflect on our life – could the realization that he was left alone in that sick state have been the final nails to his coffin?

It gets me thinking too about you (you know who you are) – I think one of the things that almost killed me when hanging up the phone at 5am on that Saturday morning, after talking almost the whole night, was the thought that since you had messed up almost all the good you had going for you – you too could find yourself alone. Knowing your frame of mind as I hung up the phone drove me frantic too coupled with the thought that you would eventually give yourself a heart attack and die out there all alone with no one to call to for help…

How do we do this to each other? When will we eventually start missing that all too important human element that will make us care enough and think twice about the things we put each other through? So the woman didn’t know how things would turn out but still… How Do You Leave A Sick Person ALONE????

My issues 2: the SICK man alone

He had another LEGAL wife and KIDS?

The patheticness surrounding a cheating mate still carry on to amaze me! How do you commit to “happily ever after” only to end up hurting them in the cruellest way possible?

Regardless of how many times I hear about it, I fail to wrap my head around the makings of a cheating mate. In my book, that is the lowest act possible before we cross over the legal line… if you have seen my earlier posts on this issue, you will know that still today, I question the decision to do it and see consequences after. I still wonder how one’s mind works around to even justifying it or even carrying on with it and EVEN going as far as hiding it should you have become victim of human error.

I shudder to think what the poor wife is to feel when news of her husband’s infidelity reach her… Not knowing the full details, but imagine that she is at home looking after the children and building a pleasant home for her husband while he goes to work only to find that his work included performing duties that were unknown to her – ones that even went as far as going to another woman’s house every night and putting on a show so good that even the neighbours that see you daily do not catch on that he doesn’t belong there. This was not a fling or passing of time kind of thing – it was a slap to the face for he went as far as buildng a home with a strange woman.

How does she get closure from this when the ******** is not even around to answer for his actions.

Take it from a woman who knows – the passing of her man is the least of the wounds that she will have to heal so as to carry on functioning as a normal women with her head held high and with kids to be a role model too. I know that this will come very close to killing her too.

I suppose the question as to why we cheat still is to find a satisfying answer but regardless – I don’t think I can ever respect a person who cheats on their mate in any kind of way weather they deserved it r not. You SIMPLY do NOT cheat PERIOD!

My thoughts…

And so I find myself at conflict over weather him being alone in his last few slow moments are to be justified by his extra curricular activities.

As he lay there feeling his breath become shallower and him realising that he will not make it to day light, what do you suppose his last thoughts were? Regret over his achievement to humiliating his real wife and kids? Or the mess that he leaves his mistress in when she now has to defend and justify something they started together?

And what about if he could choose who to spend his last moments with – who do you suppose he would choose? His real wife? Or his mistress?

What I think...

Opinion omitted for indecisive reasons…

What do you think?

What is the freaking POINT!

I sat in my car for a while waiting for my next appointment and I just started looking at everybody going about doing their daily lives and the strangest thought crossed my mind – what is the freaking point! No no, don’t get me wrong. I'm not suicidal or depressed or anything – I just got thinking:

(follow my train of thoughts here…)

So, you get up in the morning, go about your daily activities that involve either making money, spending money or asking for money. You eat, interact and you go home to sleep (after a ton of other domestic chores). Then, as the sun comes up, you do the same thing over and over again.

Maybe I should not be calling what I'm feeling a rut. Maybe I should rather call it a disappointment at the whole fuss placed upon life!

Look around you and show me a happy content person and I will show you a fairy…

It looks to me like in our entire struggle to make a better life for ourselves; we just have managed to mess up a something that was already falling apart. Look at the sadness in the eyes of most people around. See the hurtful things that we do to our loved ones. Think of all things that could change in just a split second. Now tell me: does this whole life thing make sense to you?

Why is it that we do some of the things we do? Bad judgement? Mistake?

What then about the things that we do knowing very well that it will never have a happy ending – whats the excuse for doing those? You know you will end up hurting someone but you do it anyway hoping that you can hide it. But does that not end up hurting you when you have to go through the pains of keeping it from hurting the next person?

Even when you have it “made” as per the standards of society but you still end up doing the same old same old – working at maintaining that “made” status! It never stops. Weather you show off here, show off there or remain humble and all – fact still remains, you are stuck in a cycle that is called life and there aint nothing you can do about it.

So sure you have a reason to jump out of bed – I do too. I have a life to live. But I can’t help but stop for a moment and think: what is the freaking point?

I love watching little children go about doing their lives. I like the pure pleasure and satisfaction that comes with innocents. To them, its moment to moment. Its honest and pure. Its fulfilling and better then the last moment. *smile* they skip about thinking of ice-cream and sweets. They want to be doctors and air pilots and pioneers and elders when they grow up. They cant wait.

Then catch up with them a couple of years later and watch how life takes that away. Watch as the shadow of sadness sits on them too as innocence slips away due to maturity. At first they are oblivious to the phenomenon but it soon hits them…. no no rather slaps them to reality.

Once again, don’t get e wrong – I AM NOT DEPRESSED/SUICIDAL and I dont need to talk to anyone about anything.

All I'm thinking is WHAT IS THE FREAKING POINT!

The ART of Fab!

Ask me and I shall tell you…




…Tell you of all the trials and let downs that I have had in a very (like microscopic) space of time. Ask me and I shall tell you how semi bitter I have become and how unfair this and that is…



But enough of that!

I have decided: today is a new day and I shall treat it as such. i have a couple of things that I need to set and keep in motion to ensure the successful transition from the glossy-eyed teenager to the young adult that I am that oozes fabulousness (wow that sounds weird).

So it begins:

• Daily mission to so rock the world everyday.

Think about it - we all go around following this and that. i think its time i did my thing and let everyone follow me for once... (makes perfect sense to me)

• Bigger commitment to laugh out loud.

Think about it - it seems that we spend far too much time frowning and complaining about things that we cannot change - enough i say (LOL)!!! no more. from here on I shall LOL instead of lol... (see the difference?) (wow - feel better already). Now say it with me: YES WE CAN (If it mattered, I would have made a damn good politician)

• Love a lot more harder

This applies to all the people around me. It goes from my family to friends, to all them haters and enviers. From the stranger to the undeserving and to the fellow soul sistas holding tight to this thing we shall dub life…See the thing about this love thing is that the more of it that you give the more you get in return (not necessarily from the person you gave to initially). My girls have been amazing and at times i don’t know how to thank them in a way that would make them realise how truly awesome they are. So, its more love their way and some to everyone else!!

For now, these are the objectives - one step at a time right. So there you have it.

I now move into what I call: THE ART OF FAB*

Go on, make your own list and share: what is you ART OF FAB FACTOR?

*Note: not everyone can pull this off, but it takes a certain kinda girl…

I don't GET it! Do you?

Ever had some things happen and you’re left wondering if you are the only one who dosnt get it as people carry on as if all is well? Well here is my list of some things I just don’t get:

1. (First only because it happened yesterday and this morning)

Why would you go through the trauma of waking up early and leaving the house during traffic rush hour only to drive at 5km/h on the road? Why the freaking hell do yu not eave a bit later and drive at 2km/h for all I care! Hell stop in the middle of the road f yu wish – just don’t do it during morning rush cause well some of us do have places we need to be and on time!

2. Am I the only who doesn’t get why stranger men have to hoot at you?

For whatever reason – there is no good enough reason to me besides life and death situations. But the people who hoot to greet you when they don’t know you – what out come are you hoping will be? That I will smile and wave back at you while I start picking our wedding theme colour and how many kids we will have! Fact is: if you can’t approach me and greet me properly – then please don’t hoot at me thinking it will have the same effect!

3. Why is it that people feel the right to enforce their point of view on you?

I get the human tendency to want to be seen as always right and ever so wise (happens to me too) but why the freaking hell would you think its ok to force people to see things in your opinion or else…? Were we not all made with functioning brains that are able to deduce and ponder and come to an out come that makes the best sense to ourselves (usually based on our unique experiences)? But no – you feel the need to be holier then thou and think it’s either your way or the wrong way. Did you ever think that maybe YOUR way is the WRONG way????

4. Why is it that some really pretty girls are the meanest?

Don’t you get it – the fact that you are pretty does not automatically make people wanna be around you all the time. Just like the rest of us, you still need to work at a likable personality and still have to get people to like you not just for the pretty (this is for those times when life throws a truck of cement on you and you actually survive) – pretty seekers may not necessarily stick around esp. if what’s left, is the cow in you !

5. (closely related to the last one) why is it that you get the shock of your life and see the injustice in people wanting you to perform what you get paid for?

Those who know what I do for a living will know what I mean. Ever noticed how humans sometimes do the most ridiculous of things – like wonder why they are being given a hard time for not doing their part! *sarcastic voice* ah could it be maybe because that’s why you are here to begin with – to do your job *wide eyes – blink-blink* would it not make better sense to stay at home if you don’t want to work? It would certainly be warmer there in winter!

6. (ok ok this one is very controversial) why is it that as woman we feel the need to compete with one another???

Really! Have you not seen it? You get those females that have made it a mission to look better, do better and to be at better… is it not exhausting? Always on the look out of someone who may out shine you? Honestly – does it matter that I got it on the street while you got it designer? Does it matter that you are louder and can dance better and you so have to show it to me and everyone there! See what usually happens is that you come out looking like desperate which ummm I don’t think was your point to begin with. Do you have to brake your back with them walk to try and stand out! *air head voice* OMG like try unique – it’s the new black! Lol (oh you know I be loving you all – warts, walks, nasty make up and all – you know who you are!) lol

7. (another controversial one) how and why does it seem to be you business that I have broken up with my boyfriend/ had a public fight with my husband/that it doesn’t bother me that I'm 32 and still single/am having lunch with Mr. Man/that I got the R600 handbag? How does that inturn become news you just have to tell someone about?

Close buddies will know what I mean. How does it become a matter of discussion and pleasure that my affairs are going sour esp. if your intention is not to help? I could never really full get this – the satisfaction that people get from this! Could it be that maybe cause your world is too dull and boring that you have to feed off my drama? That is not exactly something to be satisfied over *raised eyebrow* it should actually worry you enough to concentrate on your own thing! And what if I do splash out my cash? It aint yours – so why is it tickling your butt! So what that I have an expensive taste (this is for you girl – I ask this on behalf of you!)? if I maintain it my way why does it amaze you? Are there not enough things for you to be amazed at like why suicide bombers exist instead of the price of my shoes? Ahh com’on

8. (specking of that) what the hell is fascination with being a suicide bomber?

If you feel that you are too tiered of life and you wanna end it with a big bang – why would you wanna do it in crowded places? When you decided to commit suicide, it was a decision you made right – so why the heck would you wanna include people who haven’t made/will never make/are not insane enough to make that decision? If you wanna bomb yourself to pieces – do it on some mountain – away from people, grass, birds, other animals and trees. Well on the mountain, we know that rocks can handle it! Does that not make better sense? *looking around for an Amen!*

9. Why is it that the designer cloths are always the weirdest looking ones?

I kid you not. It would make the best sense that if I am going to over price a pair of jeans because of the INVISIBLE tag that they have, then I would make them look good. But because some of us (meaning all of you) are so much into public appearance, we settle to wearing nasty cloths and when some one questions our choice, our defence is: “well is [insert weird-well-known label name]” lol (weirdest thing!)

Before I too get blamed for not doing my job, I will stop here for now BUT mark my words, Part 2 of this post will come in future because there are more things I don’t get.

So what do you have on your list? Wanna share?

Big girl Panties...

You should know by now that I have this deep passion for well written writings (articles, proverbs, news etc…) and once in a while I stumble upon these and cant help but to share and discuss.

Cosmopolitan magazine has this daily 5 which they use to dish out some well meaning advise on EVERYTHING (one of the million reasons why I am addicted to the publication). This is one that they had a few days ago named “BIG GIRL PANTIES”

Read on and see what I mean: (and of cause I add my 2c worth)

1. Your body, your integrity, your independence – all these are yours and nobody else’s.

You have worked so hard to get to this place and yet you allow someone so easy to come take that all away all willy nilly… nope! Makes no sense to me. I am finally at a place where I am madly in love with this body (and with reason too cause tis is all I have and forever is too long to spend trying to look like someone else). I may be a little chubby and a little mis-proportioned but I fully realise that it is those exact things that make me… ME! I'm independent and I'm clever. I'm honest and worthy. I AM WOMEN

2. Think before you shout. Think before you send a vicious e-mail. Think before you hang up the phone or slam a door on someone. That split-second of consideration could spare you years of regret.

Not so easily done at times esp. for someone like me who is known for holding a hott head at the worst of times (fully attributed to my lack of patients and understanding for rubbish).

What do you say? Can you? Will you?

3. Ish happens. Deal with it smartly. Unburden (within reason) to friends, eat sensibly, exercise and sleep enough. If you still can’t cope, see a pro.
4. Nothing is meant to be. It just is. Sometimes you can influence the way things turn out and sometimes you can’t.
AMEN!

5. People don’t think about you as often as you think they do, so stop obsessing
(LOL love this one!)

Girl-On-Top has been found!

Was watching a show last night about a designer girl who’s week went from great to drab in a matter of days. Her FIRST collection was stolen in a huge mix-up with her best friend, the ex that DUMPED her like yesterdays rubbish and moved away popped back into the picture, she has a HUGE fall out with her new beau, her OTHER best friend finds out that she is the other woman in her new, exciting relationship and on TOP of all that – she still needs to design a new collection in 7 days since hers was stolen…
What got to me was the fact that amongst all that and through many tears-full nights, she pulls it off - manages to help her buddy fight her battles with the new romance, ditch the ex who took their past


- i am super woman -

(the white skin colour is part

         of the costume)

relationship as a little fling (while for her it was earth shattering) and still wowed the crowds with her newly made range… then on the night when all that seemed to be behind her and things started looking up – her boyfriend brakes up with her.

SCENE: she stands outside listening to this guy give her the good-bye speech, climbs ino a texi and leaves. With a feeling of knots in her tummy, she walks into a room full of people, puts a smile on her face and just for that moment holds it together for the sake of other people…

Would you be able to do that? Hold it together while your world seems to be crashing around you? I ask because in simply the first 6-months of a year that was said to be the greatest ever, I have had 75% of my deepest fears come true and yet here I still stand. Sure at times it feels like the world just wont stop caving, yet strangely enough, it never manages to fully swallow me – regardless of how close to the edge I am…

I am a 20 something year old black female with a drive to make it regardless of the hills and mountains I gotta trample and trip over to get there. I am loud and I love hard. I have passions that grow everyday and I have no patients for under achievers. I get that no one else can do it for me while I sit in a bunch somewhere hance my every-where-all-over routine. I cry and I shout, I sing and I dance…


There are factors out there who have made it a passion of theirs to bring me down and that’s ok – I suppose they too have the right to fulfil their dreams. Yet note that it being ok does not mean they will get their way. I am super woman and I can take on the odds – sometimes with the help of huge doses of chocolate cake and wine but bottom line… I will do it!

I AM GIRL-ON-TOP!

Can i switch it off please

-forever and ever babe...-

Hanging out with a buddy this weekend made me aware of something that came as a slight irritant to me actually.

Have you ever noticed the boy-girl dynamics around you? It’s everywhere and in all ages – weather it’s the couple sitting in the car, the ones holding hands in the mall or the ones sitting cosy at the restaurant, its all around us. Got me thinking – can we not help it but do the coupling thing? I'm thinking now of someone like me who is board stiff of the whole institution of dating – do I need to have it shoved in my face the whole time?

Ok ok so if the natural desire was not there, then I suppose I could just not even notice it but you try explain to my heart that I don’t really wanna do this anymore… (well unless if my heart could match me up with a sensible somebody with a fair share of personal baggage).

So I ask you again – CAN I SWITCH IT OFF PLAESE?

If you know me, then you would know what my hang ups are when it comes to the whole thing of dating. Just feel like it is so saturated with games and misleading. I think that sometimes, instead of it being about the knock-me-off-my-feet-good-all-over-feeling, it has been turned into something that carries so much pressure with it that it is enough to drive any well balanced and sane female (like me) over the edge.

My issues?

Well, don’t get me wrong, I'm the first to fully admit that relationships are tough and that sometimes, it is not on the one date where you will find a fella who will click with you but what’s up with all the other rubbish?

Bear with me here

- What happened to being liked for just YOU? Nowadays its all about status. I feel like my male counterparts are looking for females with benefits. Ok so women do do it too but should it not be that way? - that we are looking for the man that will be able to take care of me and my needs? Hance the want to asses his capabilities? Nowadays, MEN are looking for woman who will support them too and that to me is just way to wrong! What is this? Which century do you come from? All through human existence, men have gone out of their way to protect their woman… he has sometimes killed for her and yet here we sit in a generation we call sophisticated and we have men wanting to hide behind the woman and wanting to know how SHE will support HIM?? Am I the only one seeing red???? And then you expect me to smile at such happenings?

- COMMITMENT! Does that word mean any thing to my male counterparts? Man it gets to me to think that we are all crazed about the dating thing yet we don’t know one of its core values. I say this because well look around you – infidelity has become a trend even something to brag about sometimes. Well both for my fellow females and males… why carry on to hurt each other at such levels yet in some really warped breath you also mention the words love… does it make sense? Dating/getting to know somebody could possibly lead to a relationship and when that happens, commitment should not even be questioned. When you take the effort to be with this person, you immediately COMMITE to having their interests very high up on your list of priorities. If you feel that you cannot do this then maybe you should not be so quick to be holding hands at the mall and having cosy lunches. Never has that lead to any good… so why do it???

- There is no rush so breathe! Ok ok so it finally happens that smooth Mr. Man comes long and wow he is all that. He does it right, he shows signs of knowing what commitment means and then and then… 3 moths down the line, he talks marriage!!!!! *speechless* what the hell is up with that? Could you please take the time to know me first before you decide that you wanna be with me forever? Are you waiting to get some inheritance pay out when you get married or something??? For all you know, I could be psycho! (those who know me will know the answer to this lol). You have taken so much effort to get me to even notice you, so why not enjoy and busk on that stage for a while (a while does not equal 3 months)!

Ok ok, so I could go on and on about this topic but let me hold it here for now!

Am I the only one who feels like this?

Ok so together with me… CAN I SWITCH IT OFF PLEASE!

Do you not get it...

If you knew me you would know that I need you...


There was a time when I walked around with a chuffed smile knowing that I had you as my support. To me, giving that kinda support back to you was a no questions asked kind of thing and when the opportunity presented itself, I gave it my all and your response tells me I did well...

But now, I need you and you have let me down.

You have made me feel stupid for thinking that I could rely on you and you have pushed me aside like yesterday’s rubbish. Hurts!

Gets me thinking though – I think as humans, one of our coping mechanisms is knowing that we have at least one person out there who cares about us. I think as people we all want to know that we do not just exist but we are needed and wanted and appreciated. We want to know that to someone – just one person at least, we make their world that much better.

Yet why then is it so difficult to appreciate such people in our worlds? Or even to realise when they need the same thing from us?

I have always imagined that it is imperative to have the people that know you most around you at most times. I would like to think that my best girl friend knows how crazy I am about that new track and will pump up the volume when it comes on. I would like to think that my guy understands my love affair with chocolate cake and is loving enough to get it for me and watch me enjoy it (while I fall in love with him that much more). I would like to think that that girl I sit opposite at work is interested in me more than simply to cover her when she is out for too long during lunch but actually takes time to ask about my mom and my siblings...

Whatever happened to appreciating people around you and doing your little bit to make their world so much better? What happened to keeping loyal to your close confidants and having their back regardless of whether they have broken a nail or have just lost their father to cancer?

When are you going to realise that its not the big things that matter to me or even that at times – I don't want to have to tell you that I need you but want to trust you to know me enough to see this and be there – no questions asked...

Yet you still don't realise that I need you!

so what is your take?

So what is your take on the “Bitter Single Lady Syndrome”?

After reading the article, I took a little while to ponder over the issue:

I have been around women who are single and senior and while there is a handful of them who are this by choice, there are those who are like this because of what the article describes. Knowing this and having spoken (and even had some of them as personal friends), it got me thinking at what the fallout from such ‘ticking time bombs’ could be. Let me take a moment to tell you about this type of woman from my stand point:

She is bitter. This is something I see under the whole i-have-made-it-and-i-don't-need-no-man-or-anybody-else outfit. She walks around telling of how she has been wronged in the past by both men and woman alike and how she has now decided to be selfish. Sometimes, she is a little out of shape too, giving the excuse of comfort weight. Don't get me wrong, she is not ugly or mean – she is beautiful. She smiles with grace and carries herself as she should in public. She is opinionated and firm and is most of the time a pleasure to be around. Her horns come out when the conversation strays to relationships. She has an input alright – a negative one! No man is worthy to her. The men that could be round her at that time are given degrading names and described as panting behind her and of cause she doesn’t want them or think they could bring anything worth it to her... – she is complete she says.

Then, late at night when the hype has settled down and there are one or two left, her real feelings come out. She would like a man yes. She says she is ready only problem is that no one with the 8/10 grading marks has come her way. She wonders why she was never blessed with a man and hates the fact that her brief fling is now happily married and expecting his first born. What is she missing she asks? Is she that unlovable?

Sitting there and hearing this makes me wonder if I haven’t fallen into the same path (I'm singe yes but not senior or bitter YET!)

I know why...

And as much as I would love to tell her – I wonder if I should kick her while she is down...

Why is it that we have taken something that should be simple (to some extent) and turned it into a bitter war?

I'm thinking of a time when a man would want to get married, meet the woman, speak to her parents and after showing that he will be able to take care of her – they get married. These days, as a man, you don't only have to prove your ability to take care of her but also to what extent (a house in town, her own [insert big car name] car and jimmy choos once a month).

What happened to marrying someone based on first and foremost love and respect? On the ability to recognise your role in marriage and be willing to fulfil it – no questions asked?

I think the author of the article wanted to highlight the plight of sitting back and waiting for the best, perfect fish - letting all the others go for sometimes things that are small or even beyond their control. I think we woman have confused how that love emotion, that we are crazy about, should really work. Now we use it as an ego boost while we laugh from afar at the men that are sincere and who really, simply, just wan to love us. his head is too big, we say. He is short and comes from a weird family... CAN HE CHANGE THAT? What about you? He aint saying much about your mis-shaped figure or fat fingers... he loves you warts and all. What about his terrible habit of mismatching clothing colours – couldn’t you assist him with that?

No! You want him made like some ready-made-meal that comes from a box.

You turn all suitors down and as time goes, you disillusion yourself with that you don't need him. You say, he hasn’t come along yet and heaven forbid that your friend finds someone for you will never stop talking about how much of a dog he is.

HE LOVES HER and that is the best start!

It worries me that all these behaviour has consequences that run way beyond your immediate thought.

Question: do you know the doings of a desperate woman?

Ask a woman who has had her man targeted by a desperate woman and you will understand.

No one wants to be alone yes but, is it not your own doing that you are? You have analyzed John and classed him as not worthy simply because he has womanly looking hips or even a 3 digit bank balance. And now that your peers are all off and happy, you go mess it up by going after their men or even simply causing trouble where there is none (asking your friend why her husband seems to spend more time at the office lately????)

I say...

If you want to be unmarried then fine but make sure that you know why and work towards filling your world with other things.

IF U DO WANT TO GET MARRIED ONE DAY then hell, take off you ‘perfect man’ finder and start working at how you can reach closer to perfect for him. Doing so will defiantly pull your equivalent perfect to you. And when he does come along – give him a chance before you go shooting down his attempts and realise that he will make a mistake or two which you are also prone to make...

Think about this: when you go stetting standards – how do you fair against your own standards?

(a post on that will follow in the near future)

Signed

G-o-T

Very VERY well written

i have a thing for well written articals and having received this one a while back, it still gets me thinking...

not sure who wrote it but it was very very well done.
(discussion on it shall follow in future posts)

The myth that women can be single, senior and satisfied is the greatest, LIE by chauvinist


Young women beware; you will soon get into the trap many girls have found themselves in - single, senior and disillusioned. Do not go far; look at yourself in the mirror. There is no way that beauty, that grace, could have been created to be admired only on the mirror.

Life is better when shared, try it! The myth that you can be single, senior and satisfied has been spreading faster than even the gospel itself. Incidentally, those who spread it have never been married and may never marry. There is no denying that there are lots of unhappy marriages. There are also very many happy marriages. There are a lot of women who would do anything to remain married.

In marriage, they have found meaning, satisfaction, happiness and a purpose for life. I wonder where the myth came from. It could be we are victims of our own success. We got education and we are now in the Cabinet. What next? We have forgotten that material things, jobs, status never satisfy. It is other people who satisfy.

As we go up the academic or career ladder, we burn too many bridges because of the myth that men are brutes, will mistreat you, will leave you for a younger woman and cannot be trusted. We rarely blame ourselves.

I know many women who are reckless and their husbands regret marrying them. Many women will agree with me that we are actually better cheaters than men, except that men are foolish enough to be caught!

This myth that life is better without a man has found a very fertile ground among young girls after they read novels, follow soppy soaps and movies where actors are paid to say anything. These and other lobbies have made young women see marriage as a plague to avoid, leading to disillusionment and emotional misery.

As teenagers we are attractive. Every man, from the youngest to the oldest, is after us. This attraction goes on till we get into campus.

Unfortunately, by the end of third year, the cheer leading crowd made of speculators, all after sex, has diminished significantly. We think at this age that we are ideal.

Suddenly in our mid- 20s, we realize that all the men who hovered around us like flies were opportunists and are gone. We become very hostile to men. We spend hours talking about our ex, never exes! We love embarrassing men and talking about it.

Once bitten twice shy. After getting booted a number of times, we now start analyzing any man who tries to approach us. But since men behave almost the same way in wooing us or seducing us, we find it hard to differentiate a serious man from a joker.

Time passes as we do our naive analysis. Unfortunately, as we become more experienced in analysis, fewer men come by, meaning the few we get, the more we scrutinize them and the more faults we find in them.

Those of us who do not marry in our 20s will go past 30 into the age of reality. We will realize that men are not that bad. They can be tamed and a bird at hand is worth many in the bush.

The reality is that at this age, there are younger and more attractive competitors. We find security in numbers, "I am not the only single woman." We also find refuge in new churches that do not demand too much from us except tithe. Many single women above 30 have a curious attraction to the church.

The reality has another side. By 30s we have traveled to wherever our hearts desired. We have a house and other earthly dreams. We realize that our life is still empty, meaningless. We realize it is the small things that matter, a hug in the moonlight, cuddling a baby, and nothing can replace trust in man for life.

The hardest reality is seeing our younger sisters, former classmates and friends, all married. We realize that our new friends are those who "missed the boat". We have nothing in common with these friends except moaning and pretending that men are not oxygen. But deep inside, we would wish we are no longer called by our father's name. We realize the numbers of visitors have reduced, we prefer being at work or church than home.

At this age, when 40s is knocking, we would go for any man. But even that "any" man is not there. Men at that age are married or "going down" to younger girls. At this age we realise that the men we claimed were not serious were actually very serious. They have grown rich, got beautiful wives who never age because they are taken care of by kind men.

We hope a miracle will happen, before the window of opportunity is permanently closed, and the biological clock stops. At this age all the excuses are gone.

Young women, think for yourself. Do not believe that grapes are sour.

There are very many good men out there, waiting to be loved and love in return. Do not live a lonely life like a buffalo and pretend that is an achievement.

how did humans become their own worst enemies?

Call me weird if you like, but HOW DID HUMANS BECOME THEIR OWN WORST ENEMIES?

We live in an era where things have been made simpler, better and faster – would you not agree? With the logic behind it, you would think that this would lead to better functioning relations between human... dosn't look like thats happening.

Think about it....

Consider this:

INSTANT MEALS/EATING OUT – Nowadays, there is no need for the woman (or even the man) to spend hours in the kitchen prepairing a meal for a family. She dosnt even need to be in the kitchen at all sometimes with the wonder of the refrigerator. Good thing yes. Now she can have more time to take car of other chores. Cleaning the house... ahh wait, we have the VerimarkGenesis to help her out. So that chore time is cut by half. Now she will spend more time doing the washing... ah ahh wait, we have a washing machine for that now and so it goes with all the other time consuming things that we have o do on a daily basis... so it makes perfect sense to know use the time saved for all the other things that you say you have always wanted to do – like spend time with the kids, the partner and family... but do you?

With all this time we say we save, it worries me to think that we have also become the busiest that we have ever been in all human history. We seem to always be out there want to acquire more. We work MORE hours so that we can get paid MORE so that we can get MORE and afford MORE and hope that this will bring us MORE happy and MORE approval (from peers and family) and MORE and MORE and MORE and it just never stops...

I say we are becoming our own worst enemy cause it seems like with the quest to make life better, we have made it worse by making it more focussed on the superficial things. When was the last time you stopped to smell the flowers? Or even have lunch with a good old friend? When last did you sit and chat with your sibling? I feel like we are losing that all to important human element.

Was interesting to see an old yet interesting habit that my grandmother in the rural areas still does. When they meet on the street (cause everybody walks everywhere), they stop and take time to greet. Everyone knows everyone there. Or maybe even if passing a house and there are grown people sitting outside in their sight, they stop, greet and ask how everyone is doing.

Tell me – do you know the people that live next door to you? Do you know all their kids – by name? Would you know if the neighbour’s wife was sick or even if she had something bad happen to her?

These days, we are so busy getting more that we actually end up with nothing.

this is also not exactly doing much to help us as we may imagine (in a the less you know the less you worry kind of way). look at the up comming generations, they have no idea as how to hold, keep or even start succesful human realtions. they are rude and obnoxious. they fail to understand the concept of loyality and trust and it shows... the cracks are getting bigger and bigger.

the fellow feeling element is too very fine. these days we cant even help eachother out without wanting something in return. what about the way that, without even batting an eyelid, we can brake each other down with no regard what so ever. through gossip or violations... to this generation - our generation, it s all the same. its a shame really...

i for one am disaponted

signed
G-o-T

What a nasty habit...!!

*i hear it was actually her mother who ended up with him...*

Ever noticed how a lot of woman have this thing where they go on and o about how much they hate gossiping? but really now, show me a woman who dosnt gossip, and i will show you a perfect man!

let me start there: what is gossip?

Gossip, as defined by some really thick book next to me, means conservations about the personal details of other people’s lives, whether rumour or fact, especially when malicious. Now all of you who are guilty of this – put up your hand *hand shoots up*

Yes, I too am a doer of this terrible habit as are the lot of you (including those who didn’t put up their hands - who really have even bigger problems to worry about cause they lie too), but take a moment with me and lets think about this. I would say that we all agree that no one likes to be gossiped about right? Then why the hell do we think its ok to do It to each other?

Imagine, in worst case scenario, you had a terrible, humiliating thing happen to you... but as with all other things, you pick yourself up and work through it no matter how difficult it may be. Now imagine how bad it gets when you walk around and realise you are the victim of stares and subtle pointing (using their eyes). It gets even worse – when you walk up to them and they don't have the nerve to say anything to your face or even ask the damn questions if that’s what they want. Truth be told: gossiping is like a dieses, a cancer that spreads like wild fire esp. if you have become used to it. Its degrading and so deceitful and without realizing it, we carry on braking each other down doing it.

Until when?

Why is it that you feel you have the right to carry on and on about people’s issues?

It feels to me like it has reached a stage where we accept it using phrases such as “people will always talk”... why?

If it is a terrible as it feels when done to you then why do it to the next person?

Ok ok maybe some of you are thinking that I'm asking for the impossible and that yes, people will always talk but could we not atleast try to cut back? Sure something does spread when its new – so keep it at that – an initial news flash and thats it. There is no need for you to move it along and if you feel that it really is something that you just gotta know more about, the go on ahead and ask the main character (although I'm pretty sure you will get a ‘non of you business’ reply)

Just is sad to see that we have become our own worse enimies...



Signed
G-o-T

the thick coat of love

"how strong is your love?"

yesterday, i posted a post on the strength of woman.

there is but a more intense kind of strength that i thought deserved a whole post of its own... The Thick Coat Of Love...

i met a woman once. a married woman. who as far as  my knowledge went did all that was due of a married woman. she took care of her household. she was sumissive to her husband and took the gratest care in supprting him and ensured that his joy was something she constently saw to - whatever it may be.

this impressed me imensly well mainly becaue i am a young woman in a time and generation where something like this is looked down upon and viewd as weak by many.but well you know me, i looked deeper into this with the aim of learning more - or maybe even envy of some sort since she seemed to get some joy from this an it made her life content - knowing that she has done well by her husband as taught by her mother, grandmother and other wise women of old... i looked further and the discovery i made took my breath away (this does seem to happen quite a lot - the breath taking i mean)

how do you suppose this husband reacted to his wives unwavering committ to him?
well, he got a mistres...

see, at times, men have this unbelievable ability to not appriciate a good woman. purly my opinion.
how many stories of cheating men have you heard. in some instences, a man goes out to seek for something he thinks is missing in his life well mainly because he selfishly believes he is entitled to it. he leaves a perfect wife at home who is willing to move mountains for him and goes and looks for a bit of a thrill. when he comes back home - to his 'boring' wife - she has a warm plate of food ready for him and never demands knowing where he has been - because she trusts him.then with time, while his affair carries on, he starts to mistreat her.  he shouts at her and shoves. and what does she do... she takes it in her stride.when they do go out together, she honours him and will never say a bad word against him... yet it still dosnt click to him.

But of cause as all things go, it all comes out. His infidelities become known and the consequinces follow on... when he is down at his smallest, weighed down by his actions, ask me who is by his side helping him put it all together again --- his wife.


Not that she wasn’t hurt by his actions. Not that she dosnt have a choice to walk away and let him be – she does. She just chooses to stick by him. WHY? He is her husband and if she doesn’t stick by him, who else will?

This is an instance of the thick coat of love... see, I don't believe that love simply just disappears. It dies yes but not so easily. I have this never ending respect for woman who have a love so deep for their partners that, when allowable and reasonable, will stick by him regardless of how he messes up.

I feel that our generation is riddled with people who easily give up esp. When it comes o their marriage commitments. What happened to forever and ever till death do us part. Nowadays, your imperfect partners makes a mistake and without even trying, its out the door for you, ready and willing to move on with somebody else. Am I the only one who is confused by such situations?

Please, don't get me wrong. I fully believe in walking away when its healthy for you – but not in giving up simply beacse the gong has gotten tough. No body said that this was going to be a walk in the park and if you believe so, then maybe you shouldn’t have gone into it to begin with...

Do you own a designer Thick Coat Of Love?

Look out for further posts on this topic.



Signed

G-o-T