so what is your take?

So what is your take on the “Bitter Single Lady Syndrome”?

After reading the article, I took a little while to ponder over the issue:

I have been around women who are single and senior and while there is a handful of them who are this by choice, there are those who are like this because of what the article describes. Knowing this and having spoken (and even had some of them as personal friends), it got me thinking at what the fallout from such ‘ticking time bombs’ could be. Let me take a moment to tell you about this type of woman from my stand point:

She is bitter. This is something I see under the whole i-have-made-it-and-i-don't-need-no-man-or-anybody-else outfit. She walks around telling of how she has been wronged in the past by both men and woman alike and how she has now decided to be selfish. Sometimes, she is a little out of shape too, giving the excuse of comfort weight. Don't get me wrong, she is not ugly or mean – she is beautiful. She smiles with grace and carries herself as she should in public. She is opinionated and firm and is most of the time a pleasure to be around. Her horns come out when the conversation strays to relationships. She has an input alright – a negative one! No man is worthy to her. The men that could be round her at that time are given degrading names and described as panting behind her and of cause she doesn’t want them or think they could bring anything worth it to her... – she is complete she says.

Then, late at night when the hype has settled down and there are one or two left, her real feelings come out. She would like a man yes. She says she is ready only problem is that no one with the 8/10 grading marks has come her way. She wonders why she was never blessed with a man and hates the fact that her brief fling is now happily married and expecting his first born. What is she missing she asks? Is she that unlovable?

Sitting there and hearing this makes me wonder if I haven’t fallen into the same path (I'm singe yes but not senior or bitter YET!)

I know why...

And as much as I would love to tell her – I wonder if I should kick her while she is down...

Why is it that we have taken something that should be simple (to some extent) and turned it into a bitter war?

I'm thinking of a time when a man would want to get married, meet the woman, speak to her parents and after showing that he will be able to take care of her – they get married. These days, as a man, you don't only have to prove your ability to take care of her but also to what extent (a house in town, her own [insert big car name] car and jimmy choos once a month).

What happened to marrying someone based on first and foremost love and respect? On the ability to recognise your role in marriage and be willing to fulfil it – no questions asked?

I think the author of the article wanted to highlight the plight of sitting back and waiting for the best, perfect fish - letting all the others go for sometimes things that are small or even beyond their control. I think we woman have confused how that love emotion, that we are crazy about, should really work. Now we use it as an ego boost while we laugh from afar at the men that are sincere and who really, simply, just wan to love us. his head is too big, we say. He is short and comes from a weird family... CAN HE CHANGE THAT? What about you? He aint saying much about your mis-shaped figure or fat fingers... he loves you warts and all. What about his terrible habit of mismatching clothing colours – couldn’t you assist him with that?

No! You want him made like some ready-made-meal that comes from a box.

You turn all suitors down and as time goes, you disillusion yourself with that you don't need him. You say, he hasn’t come along yet and heaven forbid that your friend finds someone for you will never stop talking about how much of a dog he is.

HE LOVES HER and that is the best start!

It worries me that all these behaviour has consequences that run way beyond your immediate thought.

Question: do you know the doings of a desperate woman?

Ask a woman who has had her man targeted by a desperate woman and you will understand.

No one wants to be alone yes but, is it not your own doing that you are? You have analyzed John and classed him as not worthy simply because he has womanly looking hips or even a 3 digit bank balance. And now that your peers are all off and happy, you go mess it up by going after their men or even simply causing trouble where there is none (asking your friend why her husband seems to spend more time at the office lately????)

I say...

If you want to be unmarried then fine but make sure that you know why and work towards filling your world with other things.

IF U DO WANT TO GET MARRIED ONE DAY then hell, take off you ‘perfect man’ finder and start working at how you can reach closer to perfect for him. Doing so will defiantly pull your equivalent perfect to you. And when he does come along – give him a chance before you go shooting down his attempts and realise that he will make a mistake or two which you are also prone to make...

Think about this: when you go stetting standards – how do you fair against your own standards?

(a post on that will follow in the near future)

Signed

G-o-T