*Deep breath* there he comes. Down the road he approached
and had this thing going on about the way he walked. You know how those slow
motion moments are played out in the movies? This was something of the sort and
with every step he took, my heart beats faster and I take in the moment of
sheer adolescent indulgence.
He walks by with out a word and as soon as he disappears
into his yard, I float back into the house to new versions of the ongoing fantasy
in my mind when he will finally pass by and say “Hi – what’s up?”
Shooo I would die.
i was 15 and there was a wonderful creation living next
door. Crazy how these things work themselves out and thoughts about that now
leave me giggling at my crazy 15-year-old self.
Boy am I glad that time is over and done with.
A girl friend and I started chatting on What’sApp and she
was going on and on about the crazy bug that bit her. She was mentioning all these
possibilities that could happen if this and that were to happen. She animatedly
went on about a future that involved this individual and I couldn’t help but giggle
at how silly she was sounding. And then, the dreaded thing happened.
I asked “…so what does he say to all these ideas of yours?”
Her answer “…SAY?????? He says nothing! I have never spoken
to him!”
My reaction: I laughed so hard and praised the fact that
this conversation was over social networking because that allowed me the
comfort of laughing my head off at my friend, without her seeing me and simply
sending her an LOL knowing her feelings wont be that hurt!
Here was a fully grown women behaving in a way that was
identical to the 15 year old me and she didn’t even realise it.
There should be some sort of treatment from crushes as they
lead one to behave in crazy ways. There were so many times I did crazy things
to get the boy’s attention besides the obvious. The obvious, of course, would
be to walk up to him and say hi. I would pass in his gaze a couple of times
hoping he would see me and not anything else behind me or in my direction.
These sort of things came coupled with thoughts of what-ifs and could-be’s. It
kept me happy. If fuelled the fantasies and kept me content.
How is it though that we get like this when it comes to
matters of the heart? No one is ever sure about how exactly it should be. We
all have some sort of idea yes that we dish out it bucket loads to others but
truth be told – there really isn’t a one-solution-for-all-situations kind of
thing.
The way I see it, its either there or not. If he keeps
passing you by the gate everyday and doesn’t bother to say ‘hi’ (even if for
just being polite), then its time to recast the main man in your fantasies… a
new guy who will even see you. Of cause this would have been great had someone
told 15-year-old me as it would have saved my growing heart from what was to
happen a few weeks later followed by even more idiotic versions of my
fantasies…
… so on that day, as with the other days, I waited outside
for him to pass. This time though he didn’t come alone. He had a GIRL with him.
Hand around waist and irritating giggles coming from her as she enjoyed what
should have been mine. Oh how my heart broke as I disappeared into our yard
with plans of revenge. After I had calmed down, I did the most logical thing…
Fantasy continued: she had blackmailed him and he had no
choice but to be with her. Deep down, he wanted me!
Of cause what had happened was obvious: SOMEONE ELSE BEAT ME
TO APPROACHING HIM AND SAYING ‘HI’…
